Trans-Bigotry

Since my surgery, I've become privy to a forum of discussion populated by the sorts of people who intend to go - or have gone - about doing all the transitioney surgical things and living as women. And the thing I never realised is that many people seem to undertake transition without the slightest thought to trans issues that nevertheless do concern them. I don't expect that everyone would embrace gender deconstructionism and become academic about the subject (frankly, most of us just want to go about our lives), but the mindsets being expressed in that forum are prickling at my sense of humanity in all sorts of ways that make me question whether I really do or ever want to be stealth.

To pick on one person describing another patient:

"He had hairy arms and legs, dark beard shadow, short hair, and was dressed from head to toe in ordinary male clothing: baseball cap, shorts, short-sleeved shirt, athletic shoes and socks. He had not the least solitary sign of any femininity, whatsoever. Obviously, he had not thought transition through, had not done any RLT, or anything at all that one would expect to see in an SRS candidate. If he ever even SAW a therapist, he was not given good guidance."

Mis-gendering ("he" instead of "she", when this person was well aware that the other patient identified as female). Poor form when done deliberately, and somehow even poorer when coming from someone who probably was subject to the same issues of gender identity at some stage. Seriously, we hate it when the press does it, so how is this tolerable?

The paragraph (let alone the post in its entirety, which says things like don't-undergo-transition-unless-you-are-going-to-be-passable) reeks of elitism and shallowness, and clangs like a brick off all the things I think is right about transition for transsexual people. As if swapping the baseball cap, shorts, and shirt for a tiara and evening gown is what defines a woman. As if undergoing facial surgery is what makes one feminine.

As if transition is about pleasing everyone else's sensitivities.

A further quote, describing the same patient later on:

"...although he was wearing a large, shapeless sundress and sporting a pair of dangly earrings, he wore no makeup, his arms and legs were still hairy and he was wearing his athletic shoes and socks. He looked like he was going to a Halloween party. Just unbelievable."

Uh huh, so you can't be a woman unless you wear makeup, shave your legs, and slip on some high heels (or ballet flats at a supposed minimum). Is it just me? Or is this about as progressive toward feminism and trans issues as a tortoise on a treadmill?

And keep in mind that the person in question is just recovering from SRS; how many natal women would feel like getting dolled up immediately after major surgery? I think I could barely reach down to put shoes on, let alone shave my legs. And as for the earrings, well, my ears wouldn't even have been pierced, so at least that patient had it better than I did.

So, we have someone who's decided to do something about their gender issues, evidently doesn't naturally pass well, and probably hasn't had or been receptive to many years of female social conditioning. Sounds pretty much like a lot of us, right? So what's wrong with that?

"If he ever even SAW a therapist, he was not given good guidance."

Well, according to this person - this member of the group with passing privilege - it's bad because the individual in question didn't fall prey to an outmoded gatekeeper model of therapy.

And we wonder where trans oppression comes from.

"Just unbelievable."

You got that right.